Wedding Etiquette Trends

Your bridal party should take some of the organisational strain off your shoulders when preparing for your wedding. My theory is that ideally, the couple should have no stress on their wedding day and should have the luxury of just arriving at the designated time.

I’ve listed below the traditional duties of a wedding party. Feel free to ignore this list. After all, there are no rules saying you have to follow traditions if you don’t like them. If you have any other suggestions or ideas, they will be incorporated into your ceremony.

In the case of smaller weddings, these day some couples are choosing to have no wedding party at all.

Maid of Honour

Maid of Honour is single; a Matron of Honour is married . It is even okay to have a male Maid/Matron of Honour. His title would then be “Honour Attendant.” Duties include:

• Provides emotional support for the bride.
• Coordinates the bridesmaids.
• Helps bride with shopping for her wedding gown.
• Helps bride choose bridesmaid’s outfits and accessories.
• Assists bride and bridesmaids with making arrangements for fittings and accessories such as dying shoes, etc.
• Helps bride with other wedding tasks such as sending out invitations, recording wedding gifts, etc.
• Plans the bridal shower.
• Helps the bride and bridesmaids dress before the ceremony.
• Hands the bride the groom’s ring during the ceremony.
• During the ceremony, she stands next to the bride, adjusts the bride’s veil and train, and holds the bride’s flowers when needed.
• Serves as the legal witness of the marriage and signs the marriage certificate.
• Stands next to the groom in the receiving line.
• May offer a toast at the reception.

Best Man (if Male) — Honour Attendant (if Female):

• Provides emotional support to the groom.
• Assists the bride’s parents in arranging transportation for the wedding party.
• Assists with making hotel arrangements for the groom’s family and out-of-town guests.
• Arranges the bachelor party/dinner.
• Coordinates the ushers/groomsmen.
• Offers the first toast at the rehearsal dinner, should there be one.
• Helps the groom dress the day of the wedding.
• Drives the groom to the church/ceremony site.
• Gives the groom the bride’s ring during the ceremony.
• Either drives or rides along with the bride and groom and maid of honour from the church to the reception.
• Offers the first toast at the reception and reads congratulatory telegrams and messages.
• The best man sits at the bride’s right at the head table at the reception.
• Dances with the bride and attendants.
• Returns groom’s and usher’s rented clothing to rental facility.

Bridesmaids:

• Run errands for the bride during the wedding planning process.
• Assist in making favours and decorating the reception hall.
• Assist in addressing invitations and announcements.
• Assist Maid of Honour with bridal shower.
• Pay for their own attire.
• Participate in bridal shower.
• Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• May assist in caring for the flower girl or ring bearer before the ceremony.
• March down the aisle to the ceremony site and, if there is a procession, may stand in the receiving line.

Your Fur Baby:

Let’s not forget about your other family member. It is not uncommon to have your best friend groomed, dressed and delivered to the venue to be part of your special day. He/she can stand beside the groom and can even be the ring bearer.

Flower Girl:

• Walks down the aisle/to the ceremony site just before the bride carrying a basket of flowers to scatter in front of the bride. This custom symbolizes a beautiful path ahead.

Ring Bearer:

• Walks down the aisle/to the ceremony site just before either the flower girl or the bride carrying a pillow (or other) with the rings.

Pages or Train Bearers:

• For a very formal wedding, they carry the train of the bride as she walks down the aisle.

Candle Lighters:

• Sometime children of either family who light the candles just before the mother-of-the-bride is seated.

Ushers/Groomsmen:

• Assist groom and best man with errands and bachelor party/dinner.
• Responsible for clothing rental.
• Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• The ushers should arrive at the church or wedding site at least one hour before the ceremony and escort guests to their seats if there is seating. Seating friends of the bride on the left and friends of the groom on the right.
• When ushering guests, the groomsman/usher should offer his/her right arm to a woman. The woman’s male guest/escort should follow behind you. If a male guest arrives alone (without a female guest), he should walk on the usher/groomsman’s right. Unless the male guest has a physical handicap, the usher does not offer his arm.
• Act as escorts to the bridesmaids.
• One or two of the ushers will escort the bride’s mother and the groom’s parents down the aisle/ceremony site at the beginning of the ceremony.
• May pull the runner into place as the bridal march begins and pull it back after the ceremony.
• Escort the bridesmaids at the end of the ceremony.
• Escort the bride and groom’s family from the church after the ceremony, then return to direct the departure of guests from the pews.
• The Groom’s parents are seated just prior to the Bride’s mother (assuming the Father is giving the bride away).
• Be available to give guests directions to the reception.
• Provide bridesmaids with transportation from the church/ceremony site to the reception.
• Decorate the get-away car.
• Dance with the bridesmaids at the reception.

The Bride’s Parents:

• The mother of the bride helps guests who ask for gift ideas.
• Assists in making the guest list.
• May accompany the bride when shopping for her gown.
• Toasts the couple at the rehearsal dinner.
• The father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle and stands next to the mother of the bride in the receiving line.
• The mother of the bride is the last person to be seated before the ceremony and is the first in the receiving line.
• Dances with his daughter after her first dance with the groom.

The Groom’s Parents:

• Traditionally host the rehearsal dinner.
• They stand in the receiving line.
• Often pay for the liquor and bar service at the reception. However, these days this may not always be the case.

Assign Duties:

There are some things that need to be taken care of the days before and on the day of the wedding that the bride and groom will need assistance with. These duties should be assigned to members of the bridal party, family members or special friends:

• Decorating the reception hall.
• Decorating cars.
• Pouring the champagne before the toast.
• Check to be sure everything is running smoothly and they have what they need:
• Caterer
• DJ or band
• Photographer/videographer
• Cake top, the anniversary layer of the cake, and the cake knife and server.
• Toasting goblets.
• Guest book and pen.
• Have someone responsible for transporting the gifts and cards from the reception to the bride and groom’s home. Have a roll of tape available to secure the cards to the proper gifts.

Witnesses:

• Two witnesses are required 18 years or over to sign Wedding Certificate, they can be members of the wedding party, friends or family.

DJ or Emcee should announce:

• The person giving the blessing
• The best man giving the toast
• The first bridal dance
• The father/daughter dance
• The mother/son dance
• The formal cake cutting
• The tossing of the bouquet and garter